Friendzone
by ZephyrTheBunny
Summary: Written for a prompt on the kink!meme, based around an explicit quote by Dave. Basically, save a horse, ride Karofsky.
1. Kurt

**Original Prompt: Just want a fic with bottom!Karofsky and the quote: "Fuck, Fancy, what's it going to take for you to put that pretty cock in my ass and ride me like a horse?"**

**xoxoxo**

Anonymous strangers who happened to attend the same school. Casual enemies who frequently exhibited animosity. Mortal enemies who administered the most spitting insults and vicious assaults they could manage. Reluctant allies using each other to get what they wanted and what they needed. Mentor educating and uplifting the mentee. Friends sharing their respective happinesses. Best friends hanging out, laughing, joking and loving. Mutual shoulders to cry on after every bad breakup.

Friend-zoned. Horrifically and, seemingly, irrevocably friend-zoned.

This was the evolution of Kurt and David's relation to one another.

They had seen each other at the best of times; they had seen each other at their worst of times. With regards to each other, they had been at their wisest, and sadly, at their most foolish. They both remained ever hopeful, at the height of belief…yet, also sadly, they remained almost entirely incredulous. They were, at the moment, best friends. By now, they had been best friends for years. Kurt had moved to New York to pursue fashion after high school. David had moved to New York to pursue stockbroking. They had caught up quickly and became fast friends: Kurt teaching David to "dress-to-impress", David teaching Kurt how to reign in his shopping and budget properly. Kurt's tears had soaked through David's shirt after Blaine left him to pursue acting in Hollywood. David had laid his head quietly in Kurt's lap as he grieved his failed romance with his own first love.

That's just how things were. At Kurt's insistence, they would go mall crawling. At David's insistence, Kurt had seen more professional sports in person than he'd _ever_ seen on television when he lived in Lima. They went to dinner, they went to the bar, they went clubbing…but always as _friends_. Kurt referred to David as his best girlfriend. David referred to Kurt as his own pet twink.

They never fought; they never disagreed more than playfully; they were friends; they were roommates; they were _family_. Everything was perfect.

That perfection made them miserable.

Kurt had developed a crush on David after seeing how adorable he was playing with his (Kurt's) niece and nephew. He had had brief, guilty thoughts of what it would be like to adopt children with David. He had fallen in love with David sometime after his breakup with "love of his life number 3." David would never hurt him; they were past all that. He had fallen in _lust_ with David sometime around seeing him try to force on that too-tight NFL jersey Kurt had bought him on a whim.

David had fallen in lust with Kurt first: sometime during high school, seeing that beautiful ass trapped within too frequent pairs of too-tight pants that he constantly wished would rip in just the right way. Kurt couldn't _possibly_ have worn underwear in those pants. He had developed a crush on Kurt his senior year. Kurt had been the only person to know every façade of David's personality…yet _still_ accept him. He had fallen in love with Kurt once he realized that the perfect 'god' was a human: one that never quite seemed to remember what day the phone bill was due, thought the _stairs_ were a good place to display his shoe collection, and worst of all, would spend an hour talking to David about the N-_H-_L and think that they were talking about football. It was those tiny imperfections that had changed Kurt from unobtainable, idol-crush, into a potentially realistic love interest.

Both of them wanted _so_ much more out of their relationship. But both were too afraid of potentially wrecking the perfection by sharing emotions they weren't positive were reciprocated.

"You're a little old married couple, anyway. Just _ask…him…out_." Kurt rolled his eyes as he listened to Rachel on the other end of the phone line. They had this conversation every few weeks. Every time Kurt mentioned anything cute or funny or stupid or silly that David had done, Rachel, Finn, Carol and even his father – _traitor_ – would tell him to ask David out. "You two have been living together, what, six years now? Bette and Michael already _call_ him Uncle David. You always bring him here for Thanksgiving and to your dad's house for Christmas."

"He doesn't _see_ me like that, Rach! I'm…I'm a surrogate _mother_ to him! I wake him up in the morning and pick out his clothes for him. I cook his meals and I set up his doctor appointments for him. He…ugh. He's never shown _any_ interest in me." Kurt wrapped the phone cord around his finger. It was a relatively new phone in the style of an old rotary princess phone. It was very retro-chic; it had been all the rage a year ago.

"Do you ever show any interest in _him_?"

Kurt was flabbergasted at that. "You've _heard_ me. You _see_ me. I _gush_ over him. I _adore_ him. To him…I'm just his cute little pet." Kurt laid back on his bed, careful to keep his voice in check; David was in the living room and Kurt didn't want to risk him overhearing. That would just create a world of awkward.

"You treat him the _exact_ same way you treat Mercedes,me, Katie, Nicole. You need to _slut it up." _Kurt blushed at Rachel's words. Kurt was no longer the shy little virgin, but it was always so strange to hear anything sexy-sounding coming out of Rachel's mouth.

From Rachel's end of the line, Kurt could hear a tiny voice speak up. "Mommy, what's 'slut' mean?"

Kurt didn't even attempt to stifle his laughter at hearing Bette's cuteness, but his laughter was quiet enough that he could hear Rachel's reply, "I said 'shut' princess. Uncle Kurt left the back door open and I told him to 'shut it up.'" Kurt closed his eyes to stem the flow of tears threatening to stream down his face from his laughter. "Sorry Kurt, time to go. My little stars need their dinner."

"All right, Rach. I'll call on Wednesday, ok? Give my niece and nephew lots of kisses for me."

"Uh-huh. Buh-bye." There was a click on Rachel's end of the line and Kurt placed his own phone back in its holster. He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, his hands cushioning the back of his head as he contemplated the beautiful, successful man he could someday call his own…if he weren't too fucking scared.

Kurt went out to the living room, following the sounds of color commentators critiquing some football play…or was it baseball season? He looked at the television and saw a bunch of male behemoths, all wearing either purple or baby blue, in a six-man pile up, hands grabbing anywhere and everywhere they could…it was the gayest thing since the "circle jerk".

It was definitely football.

"So…how 'bout them Cowboys?"

David smiled indulgently without even turning around to face Kurt as Kurt sat down on the couch beside him. "Not Cowboys. Ravens at Titans; Titans up by seven."

"Yay, Titans." Kurt shook his fists slowly in the air, feigning excitement.

"I'm rooting for the Ravens."

"_Boo,_ Titans." Kurt continued the false pretense. David knew it was faked and didn't mind; he appreciated Kurt pretending to be interested in his interests. Kurt settled in next to David, making himself comfortable. He leaned his head against David's shoulder and tucked his knees up against David's leg. It wasn't "flirty". Kurt liked to _perceive_ it as being flirty, but he and David had been very comfortable with each other for years, to the point neither really noticed casual contact any longer. David would sometimes curl up on the couch, his head in Kurt's lap while Kurt stroked his head; Kurt would crawl into bed with David for a cuddle after every bad breakup; David would give Kurt backrubs every time Kurt had to deal with a prima donna client. Like everything else in their relationship, it just _was_.

As the play seemed to halt for some reason unbeknownst to Kurt, David flipped over to another channel (one of about a hundred sports channels David insisted on subscribing to). David let out a beleaguered moan, looking at the action on the screen. Someone had just done something either really good or really bad. Kurt couldn't tell. "Dammit. Pats just scored on Cowboys and I missed it." David handed the remote over to Kurt, placing it in his lap. "I'm going over to the Dugout so I can watch a couple games at the same time. I'll be home in a few hours."

Kurt looked at the remote, at the television, at David's retreating form, and then at his hands for an uncomfortable moment before jumping up off the couch and chasing after him, "I'll come with you!"

David stopped short and frowned at Kurt. "To the _Dugout_? None of the guys there are really your type." Dugout was a sports bar that catered to gay guys. It was the only one Kurt had ever seen, but the Internet strongly implied it wasn't the only one in existence. Kurt had been there with David before; the guys were almost exclusively middle-aged bears or young muscle cubs. As far as David knew, Kurt's "type" was either fellow twinks or otters, like Blaine – guys that had the general build of a twink, but the masculinity of a bear.

Kurt shrugged as he pulled his coat off the rack. "Doesn't matter. I'm bored and want to hang out."

"All right, then."

xoxoxo

Four beers later and David was just shy of being an obnoxious drunk. But then again, just about every guy that was rooting for a specific team was being obnoxious tonight. Every time the Pats or Ravens scored, or the Titans or Cowboys suffered a setback, David would stand and clap while whooping and cheering. Initially, Kurt had blushed and hid behind his Mounds bar (one part Lady Godiva chocolate liqueur, one part Malibu, on the rocks, in a rock glass), but once he had realized that David's behavior was not only acceptable here, but _expected, _he just shook his head in quiet resignation and pretended he knew what a "point spread" was.

The night slowly wore on and the Titans ended up overtaking the Ravens for the win. The Pats maintained their lead and beat the Cowboys, but just barely. They continued to hang out, though, while David watched the after-show thingy. Kurt had made friends with a young, bright-eyed male ingénue that had just happened to sit next to him. They chatted and laughed the night away, making fun of all the weirdness of the men surrounding them, while sharing their mutual love of live theatre. The young customer service representative thought "A Heart Full of Love" was the single worst love song to ever grace a Broadway stage. Kurt argued that it was "Light My Candle." The sweet young twink had retorted that "Light My Candle" wasn't really a 'love' song, per se. His name was Jordan.

And Kurt was starting to wonder if he could be "love of his life number 5."

"So, I've got to get going. It was nice meeting you Kurt."

Kurt shook Jordan's hand and delighted in the warm firmness of his grip. "It was nice meeting you too, Jordan. I don't suppose…would you like to go get coffee sometime? Or something. Whatever."

Kurt didn't miss the way Jordan sucked in the corner of his lip just the slightest. "Um…like a…a date, or something?"

Kurt shrugged, trying to pass off his interest as cool, mild intrigue. "Well, sure…if you want. You know…_whatever_."

"I…sorry, Kurt. I _have_ a boyfriend. It was still nice talking to you, though."

"Oh, yeah. That's fine. It was nice talking to you, too." Kurt may not have gotten into NYADA, but he could still act…just not well enough to hide the disappointment in his voice. Kurt swiveled on his stool so that he was no longer facing the empty seat to his left, where Jordan had been sitting. He was surprised to see he still had half a drink sitting in front of him. He picked it up a sloshed it back and forth gently, watching the greyish-brown alcohol slap up the sides of the glass.

In his peripheral vision, he could see David tip beer number seven to his lips, hovering it there for a moment before tossing it back and gulping it down. Just faintly, Kurt could hear David mumble something in the moment the beer had poised frozen before his lips. "Fuck, Fancy, what's it going to take for you to put that pretty cock in my ass and ride me like a horse?" Kurt's eyes went wide and he almost dropped his rock glass, completely uncertain if he had heard David correctly or if his slightly intoxicated brain had plugged in the words he had so desperately wished to hear for so long.

Well, ok, they weren't as romantic as Kurt had hoped they'd be, but it had been _months_ since he had gotten laid, so you couldn't really blame him for having a dirtier imagination than usual. It _had_ been his imagination, hadn't it? "I…excuse me?"

David winced as he hiccupped into the neck of his beer bottle, while sipping, prompting a bit more of the amber liquid to pour down his throat than expected. When he had swallowed and placed the bottle down, he gave Kurt a completely dumbfounded look. "I said, what's it going to take for you to ride me like a horse? Saddle me up and yee-haw." David mimed the action of spinning a lasso in the air, but the sudden movement seemed to throw off his balance a bit and he had to catch himself on the corner of the bar to keep himself from stumbling off his stool. "Woo…almost got away from me there."

Kurt climbed down off his own stool and went behind David, placing his hands on David's shoulders to keep him steady. "You are shit-faced, Dave. Give the nice bar tender your credit card and then we get the hell out of here."

Kurt had to keep his grip on David's shoulders as David listed to the side trying to get his wallet out of his back pocket. The bar tender was ready and waiting for the credit card with David's tab, while David rifled through his wallet, trying to differentiate his work ID from his credit card. He guessed right (on the second try) and handed the card off to the bartender. "I gots a question for you. The signed receipt…that's a legal contract, right…my promise to pay for all this shit? Well, you can't legally _sign_ contracts when you're plastered. So that receipt's not a legally binding contract…so I don' gotta pay for this, do I?" David waved his hand vaguely in the air towards the bar top in front of him, probably trying to indicate the alcohol he had consumed today.

The bar tender looked confused (or annoyed) but shrugged it off. "Take that up with Amex."

"Who's she?" Kurt rolled his eyes at David's drunken stupidity as he helped David down from his stool. It wouldn't have been the first time David fell off the stool and smacked his head on something.

"You are a horrible drunk, David. You know that?" Dave didn't respond. "You don't let it get out of control often, but when you do, you _really_ know how to be an obnoxious, drunken ass." David's drinking wasn't bad at all. Usually he'd max out at two or three beers and be in perfect control of himself. Unlike Blaine, who had never been able to find a good stopping point in his drinking. But, occasionally, something would happen where David would just drink himself into a stupor and he'd be completely off his rocker. Kurt waved at a passing taxi once they were out on the street. He helped David into the back and David promptly fell asleep.

xoxoxo

Kurt had a restless night. He had helped David out of his clothes and into bed, then set out David's clothes for the next morning for him. David slept soundly while Kurt bustled about his business. The light snoring from David's bed was a sure sign he would continue to sleep deeply the rest of the night.

Kurt sat in the kitchen and worked on his drawings. He had a couple clients that wanted unique designs and they knew Kurt Hummel was the best one to go to. He worked well into the morning on his ideas, occasionally thinking and wondering about what David had said. Was it drunken honesty, or drunken stupidity?

He had long ago stopped living a typical 9 to 5 existence. He slept when he was tired, ate when he was hungry, and worked when he was inspired. When he noticed it was five in the morning though, he stopped working and set his stuff aside to prepare himself and David breakfast.

David would get up around 5:15, pop into the shower for ten minutes, get dried and dressed, then come to the kitchen for breakfast. In his guilt over drinking the previous night, he would have a low calorie smoothie for breakfast. David was a creature of habit.

He was also one of the rare few who could drink like a fish and never suffer a hangover. Kurt, who often got hangovers just _looking_ at alcohol, envied that trait of David's. Kurt could hear the water pipes start up as David hopped in the shower. Kurt pulled out the blender, mixed berries, whey protein, and some other assorted oddities David liked in his smoothie: spinach, flax seed meal, and hot water. Ew. Everything was all blended up and nice by the time David waltzed into the kitchen, smelling of Dove soap and Axe deodorant. Kurt couldn't lie, David smelled as good as he looked.

"Sorry about last night." David pecked Kurt on the top of the head: a soft, gentle kiss that may or may not mean more than Kurt thought it meant.

"So you remember?"

"Not a damn thing." David chuckled as he poured out the smoothie Kurt had made for him. "That's why I'm apologizing. I know how much you hate it when I drink like that." David sipped his breakfast and made a quiet, happy noise of content in the back of his throat. "This is good."

"You don't remember anything?"

David frowned, deep in concentration, trying to remember. "No, I'm sorry. Did I do something stupid?"

Kurt shrugged, more to himself than David. "Yeah, of course. It's nothing. I'll enlighten you when you get home."

xoxoxo

Kurt was draping the fabric over a size-adjustable mannequin to get the preliminary sewing done before he could meet with his client to do the final tailoring. He had her measurements, but those were only a general guideline; everyone curved slightly different from everyone else. Kurt had a few straight pins between his teeth while he pinned up the bodice. He always worked like that, but was quick to stick them back in the pincushion before David caught him. David was such a nanny goat; he hated it when Kurt put pins in his mouth.

Kurt almost aspirated the needles when he heard David's key turn in the lock. Quickly spitting the pins out he jabbed them into the pincushion he had on a special arm strap around his bicep. He jabbed one too hard and pricked himself. "Ow, dammit!" Kurt pulled the pin out and felt the skin snag to it slightly. Slipping the strap down his arm, he wasn't surprised to see a faint blotch of red where he had stuck himself.


	2. Dave

**Original Prompt: Just want a fic with bottom!Karofsky and the quote: "Fuck, Fancy, what's it going to take for you to put that pretty cock in my ass and ride me like a horse?"**

**xoxoxo**

Dow was up; that was good. He had about fifty grand of his personal money in the Dow. NASDAQ was down; also good. He had sold off his NASDAQ investments last week and moved them over into some high-yield bonds. He should have been happy about all this. He should have been ecstatic, actually. If he were to sell off his shares right now, he'd have a significant amount of personal profit. But he had been very distracted and upset all day.

He was a horrible, horrible liar. He knew exactly what he had said last night and he knew why he said it. He loved Kurt. He had told Kurt as much when they were seniors, though it wasn't as true then as it was now. Senior year of high school, David had a cute little crush on Kurt, the same way a kindergartner might have a crush on their teacher; it was a new and unique mentor relationship for David that made him feel things he had never felt before.

But this? This thing that he felt now? This was serious. It hurt his heart every time he saw Kurt flirt with another guy or gush about his beau of the month. He wasn't the jealous type, though. While he no longer idolized Kurt, he still didn't think himself worthy of Kurt. Kurt was sweet and intelligent, suave and refined, classy yet down-to-earth. David was socially awkward, had a few highly focused areas of intelligence, and was very typically male. There was nothing special about him. You could go to any bar in America or any football game, and you'd be hard pressed to find a guy _not_ exactly like David. The only difference was that the other guys would likely be straight.

David trudged up the front steps. He and Kurt didn't live in New York proper, they lived in a cute little suburb a train-ride away from New York. David commuted into work; Kurt did, as well, on the rare occasions he actually had to go to New York to work (or shop, as the case usually was). It was a lovely little duplex with a two-car garage at ground level. You had to go up a flight of stairs to get into the house and, upon entering the house, you immediately found yourself in the front hall. If you were to turn left, you would find yourself in the kitchen (a devastatingly small room, but Kurt made due). If you were to turn right, you would find a half-bath. Next to the half-bath, further down the hall, was the stairs to the second floor. At the end of the hall (a whopping ten feet from the front door), was the combination dining room/living room. At the top of the stairs, on the second floor, was the master bedroom: Kurt's bedroom. Opposite the master bedroom was David's bedroom. Between the two was the master bath. Thankfully, David and Kurt's schedules didn't overlap much aside from meals; both enjoyed luxurious baths and leisurely showers.

When he entered the front door, he could see well enough down the hall to see Kurt scrambling to do something David couldn't see. He knew the actions well enough by now, though. "If you keep holding the straight pins between your teeth, you're going to inhale one, one day. It's not fun." It was one of Kurt's worst habits, in David's opinion: mostly because he knew how dangerous it was. As often as David chastised him for it, though, Kurt kept doing it. Kurt just tried harder to hide his habit from David.

"I wasn't…I didn't…how was work?" David just smiled and shook his head. Kurt was ridiculously adorable sometimes. Usually.

Ok, _always_.

"Work was good. I need Janet to stop barging into my office when I'm with a customer, but whatever. So, uh…how stupid did I get yesterday?" He needed to test the waters here. If Kurt was uncomfortable about the whole thing, David would beg him for forgiveness and lie his ass off about what had prompted his unorthodox question. If Kurt was fine with it, they could joke about how sex deprived David was and Kurt would spend the next few weeks trying to set him up with someone.

"Um…well. I _think_ you asked me to…" Kurt blushed. His nostrils flared as he looked away, ducking his head out of David's direct gaze. The red in his cheeks spread up until even the tips of his ears were red. That wasn't _too_ horrible. When Kurt was _mortified_ about something, he blanched and became paler than paper; it was his 'this isn't happening right now…I'm in shock' color. Red was Kurt's 'I'm embarrassed and I don't want to be here right now' color. "You um…you wanted me to ride you. Like…'save a horse; ride Karofsky.'" Kurt's blush got even redder. Kurt worried his lower lip between his teeth.

If David wasn't mistaken, he could see the corner of Kurt's lips fighting to pull up slightly. "Are you laughing?"

Kurt's teeth released his lip and his smile became full-fledged. "I'm sorry, but you went all midwestern redneck on me."

David allowed himself to relax slightly and return Kurt's smile uneasily. "Wow. I am…I am so sorry." Once again, Kurt diverted his face away from David's gaze. To save face, David turned to look away from Kurt, as well. "So…um, if you want…we'll just…that never happened, ok?"

Kurt slyly looked over his shoulder at David. From his peripheral vision, David could see Kurt turn his head in his direction and mirrored his movement. "I dunno. It was pretty damn funny. I don't think I'll be _able_ to forget it. _Yee-haw_." Kurt didn't seem to be saying the 'yee-haw' part to David, but rather to himself, as though he couldn't believe David had really said it.

Now it was David's turn to blush profusely. "Yeah, I'm a compete dumbass when I'm drunk. You know this; I know this; all my exes know this. It's not nightly-news material."

"So is the cowboy act a recurring theme with you?"

David's mouth hung slightly agape, his eyes wide and his forehead pulled taut. He really didn't know how to answer that; he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to answer that. But the way Kurt stared fixatedly, and amusedly, at him, he couldn't really resist. "The uh…first guy I bottomed for liked rodeo metaphors. It's always amused me and, I guess, drunk me thought it would be an appropriate pick-up line…or come-on line. Is it still a pick-up line if you already know each other?"

Kurt just smiled indulgently at him. "It _was_ rather amusing. So, are you _really_ horny or…do you think about me like that?"

"I…well…" David ran his fingers through his hair, avoiding Kurt's gaze, again. There was too little eye contact going on between them today. He puffed out his cheeks while he thought, gesturing obscurely with his free hand. "you know, well…you're _very_ attractive, Kurt. You've _got_ to know that. I'd have to be asexual or, or…or _straight_ to _not_ think you're attractive. But, we're best friends and…well it would be odd. And awkward and god forbid anything happens between us and-"

David couldn't talk anymore. He tried, but he found his words came out muffled. It was very difficult to talk when someone's lips were pressed against your own. David tensed, not entirely certain what was going on until Kurt pulled away from him. Kurt's eyes looked bright and shiny. He was still blushing, but he looked more coy than embarrassed. "You're attracted to me and we're best friends. I don't know if that equals the start of a wonderful relationship…but it's definitely a start."


	3. Both

"So…should I get a saddle and harness, or would you prefer…_bareback_?"

David's erect cock twitched at Kurt's words. Kurt looked and sounded like a really bad porno actor, but after years of pining away, it was the hottest thing David had ever seen or heard. Squeezing his eyes shut, David moaned slightly before stuttering out a reply. "Oh, god, just take me. Anyway you want me." It had been weeks since their kiss. Two dates later and they had both confessed their long-concealed feelings. Now, after just under a month of dating, they were ready to make good on David's initial drunken query.

Kurt had taken an early position of dominance in their relationship, ever the mother hen and bossy bitch to David. David happily succumbed to every one of Kurt's orders and requests, which was why, despite his self-consciousness, he was lying buck-naked on Kurt's bed, one foot planted on the bed with the leg bent at the knee, his other leg relaxed. His hands cushioned his head like a pillow as he watched his boyfriend undo his bathrobe. _Boyfriend_ – what a wonderful word. What a beautiful word. What an incredible word. Once Kurt had unfastened his bathrobe, he shrugged his shoulders back and allowed the bathrobe to slip down his arms and puddle around his feet. He was like some sexy nude model: all gorgeous, delicate angles offset by luscious curves. Kurt's erection stood at half-mast, his evident excitement combating the sudden chill of his exposure to the room temperature. "Oh, don't worry; I'll take you _every_ way I want you, _any_ damn time I want you."

David closed his eyes and sucked in his breath. Kurt's erection showed interest at the look of pure ecstasy on David's face. If this is how blissed-out he could look without even being touched…Kurt licked his lips before lowering his hand to his dick, wrapping his thumb and index finger around the base, he squeezed and began to pump himself. It took only a stroke or two for Kurt's penis to come to full attention. Wiggling his ass a bit in excitement, Kurt climbed up the foot of the bed to hover over David. David raised his hand to stroke gently at Kurt's cheek. Turning his head to the side, Kurt kissed the inside of David's wrist before nipping softly at the flesh.

As Kurt lowered his torso onto David, David wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist, locking his feet together at the ankles to keep Kurt close. Now that he had finally gotten Kurt, after so many years, there was no way he was ever letting him go, again. Kurt rutted against Dave, delighting in the feel of his cock sliding along David's crack. Kurt rubbed his cheek against David's, prompting David to suck in a steadying breath. Opening his eyes, Kurt looked lovingly at David. David's brows were furrowed, though. "What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid."

Kurt snorted. "Afraid? Afraid of what? You aren't a timid little virgin, any more." Kurt stroked at David's cheek with his fingertips, letting his hand drag down to David's chest, where he tugged a little at the hair he found there.

"What if we fight, or something? Things will get awkward. I'll lose my best friend."

Kurt placed both his elbows on David's pecks and balled his fists, resting his chin on them. "Why would we fight? When do we _ever_ fight?"

David shrugged. "Things are different now. We're _dating_. If we fight, it'll ruin our friendship."

Kurt leaned forward and placed gentle kisses along David's jawbone, letting the last kiss land at the corner of his lips. "The absolutely _only_ thing that's different now is that we're having sex. We've been living together for years; we know everything about each other: what annoys each other, what makes the other happy, everything. Nothing is going to change…except sex. The sex is gonna change because I intend for there to be a _lot_ of it from now on."

"What if the sex sucks?"

Kurt placed a hand over David's mouth, "Don't go there. If the sex sucks, we'll just _practice_ more. If it still sucks, we'll see a councilor. If it _still_ sucks, we'll get married and – from what I've heard – we won't have to worry about sex anymore." Kurt could feel David's skin pull taut under his hand; lifting his hand, he could see the shy, bashful smile spreading across David's lips. "Now…if you'll excuse me, I plan on us having sex tonight. So stop distracting me and hand me the lube."

David reached behind himself and fumbled around, trying to located the tube he'd collected earlier. When he couldn't find it and had to crane his head up to search for it, Kurt snickered and leaned forward, grabbing the tube from where it had moved under the pillow. Kurt popped the top and squeezed out a tiny dollop onto the tip of his index finger. He looked at the clear, shiny drop of gel with a raised eyebrow, before lowering his finger to David's sternum. He followed the trail of his chest plate, down between David's abs and into David's belly button. As the cool fluid trailed over David's torso, David clenched his stomach muscles. "'S cold."

"I bet it is." Kurt leaned over; puckering his lips he blew cool air along the moist trail he had created on David's stomach. He felt an unusual amount of pleasure watching the skin prickle into little goosebumps. Sitting back, Kurt squirted out a palm-full of the lubricant into his hand. Lowering his hand to his erection, Kurt squeezed his eyes shut as he began twisting his hand around his penis, spreading the lubricant and warming it on his own flesh. David let out a lust-filled moan watching Kurt's hand flex around his throbbing staff.

Looking up at David, Kurt wiggled his eyebrows devilishly before lowering his hand to David's ass. Kurt teased at the skin in David's crack before allowing his fingers to circle David's puckered hole. While David was whimpering in anticipatory ecstasy, Kurt took his opportunity to slip a finger into David. There was a sharp intake of breath from David and the pressure of his sphincter squeezing around Kurt's lonely digit. Kurt patted David's stomach with his free hand. "Breath…just breathe and relax." It wasn't really a necessary statement; David's breathing evened out as soon as he'd finished inhaling in surprise. When David had loosened his tight hold on Kurt's finger, Kurt took the opportunity to slip a second finger in. He scissored his fingers a few times before pushing in that all-important third finger. Kurt pistoned his fingers in and out of David, gradually picking up speed until David was moaning in time with Kurt's thrusts.

When he felt David was ready, Kurt pulled his fingers out. There was the briefest whimper of protest from David before Kurt was sliding his cock into the void. David pulled his knees up until his feet were planted on either side of Kurt's hips. Kurt placed his hands on the bed beside David's hips and began pulling out and sliding back. "Ugh. God yes. God Kurt."

Kurt moved his hands back to place them on David's knees, forcing David to pull his legs back farther. David placed each hand behind one of his knees and pulled them back, spreading his legs wider and giving Kurt a better angle as his ass lifted off the bed. "So tight. You're sure you've have anal before?"

"When I'm… _ugh_! In the bath, I masturbate to thoughts of you." David jerked his ass up as Kurt hit that oh, so precious spot inside of him. "Now might be a good time to tell you, you might not want to use my loofa, _ever_. The handle of that thing is the longest running relationship I've ever had."

Laughing throatily, Kurt leaned down and kissed David heavily on the mouth. "That's hot." With Kurt's torso pressed flush against David's, David stretched his legs slightly to wrap them around Kurt's waist, digging his heels into the small of Kurt's back.

He was flexible for his size.

Kurt leaned his weight on his elbows on David's chest and began bucking his hips; David thrust up in time to meet Kurt's own thrusts. "Fuck…me. _Ugh_." Kurt trailed lazy kisses around David's lips, occasionally pulling up the skin between his teeth, nipping softly. Pushing his heels into Kurt's back, David held Kurt closer. Kurt's thrusting got more vigorous, with both men grunting like rutting animals in heat.

David's legs slipped and trailed down the back of Kurt's thighs. The closer David got, the weaker his thrusts got, yet more rhythmic and methodical. The closer Kurt got, the more aggressive and enthusiastic he got. Kurt reached down between their writhing bodies and grabbed hold of David's erection; David placed his hand over Kurt's and tightened Kurt's grip while allowing Kurt to set the pace. Kurt matched his pumping of David's cock to the timing of his own thrusts.

Kurt was the first to cum, unloading his spunk into David's ass. Even as his penis began to soften, he continued to thrust into David, riding out his orgasm as long as he could. David came just as Kurt withdrew his flagging penis. David clenched his buttocks, desperately trying to get back the warm pressure that had been so nicely filling his ass. His own cum spattered across his and Kurt's stomachs, leaving a warm sticky trail that quickly cooled in the open air. David felt dirty and so wonderfully used by Kurt.

Kurt used his index finger to draw lazy swirls in the white goo on David's stomach. "So…are we going to need a sex counselor, you think?"

David pursed his lips in thought. "Nah…but I could definitely use a second round of practice."

Kurt's lips crooked up into a bright-eyed smile. "Well, then, I advise you join me in the shower."


End file.
